Cary, NC
The day I met Justin Porter I knew my life would be separated in to two parts: before Justin and after Justin. Then as we grew together as a couple, I grew farther and farther away from who I had been before I met him. It was a little scary sometimes, to feel so distant from the “before” person but louder than the fear of being an unknown, new person was the excitement that this new person was so much better. In the light of a healthy relationship with Justin, bad relationships of all sorts were cast aside. Where anxiety had once kept me paralyzed in a conflict, I was now speaking my mind with confidence. Not to mention the wardrobe upgrade and self-esteem that happens when you feel gorgeous from the inside to the outside. 
The day of my car accident my life was separated in to two parts: before the car accident and after the car accident. As these last three months have progressed the physical changes are obvious: not walking, to walking a few steps with a walker, to walking without the walker, to shopping for my own groceries. From an arm in a cast, to a softer cast, to no cast, to carrying those grocery bags to the car. What has surprised me recently is that the more “back to normal” I feel physically the more not back to normal I feel inside. The same fear I used to have that I had “lost myself” when I met Justin is the same feeling I am having now.
I moved back to my Studio this week (an office and studio I have set up away from my house). The last time I was here was the day of the accident. Waiting for me on my desk when I came back was the 1/2 full Diet Mountain Dew I had thoughtlessly left behind when I last left the studio March 30th. I had walked away from everything absentmindedly three months ago — and now walking back in to the same space it felt like nothing was different but that I was different. There in my face was everything my “before” self had left behind and now my “after” self felt like a foreigner. There were days of sadness. Whole days lost to tears and mourning. Of not wanting to get out of bed, of avoiding my office, of not eating and of taking long showers.
Inside part of me yelled “heck yeah people, I’m back!!!” and the other part of me just wanted to get back in the bed and cry. I poured over a 16 page senior portrait magazine for my 2013 seniors with excited intensity … and when it was done my thoughts trailed off to my car on the side of the road on 15-501. Coming back to work creates a jumble of overwhelming excitement and anticipation . . . mixed with a jumble of sadness that I “lost” three months of momentum.
Then I remembered what it felt like to fall in love with Justin Porter – and to every day lose a piece of my “before” self in the dizzying celebration of this amazing “after” we were creating. Old Teresa was great, but she was just version 1. I’m now on version 3 and I realize I’ve been through this before and every time I come out stronger, more adaptable, more grateful, and happier.
Sunday, July 1st I will officially return to photography and I am so excited to share with you the rebirth of My Friend Teresa Photography and the rebirth of Teresa Porter. I think you’re going to love what you see.
With love,
Teresa
PS – Thanks.
Update! This happened . . . Broken Bones to Rolling Stone.
Teresa I loved this post more than words can say. I’m SO glad you are here and so glad you are getting stronger every day. I can’t wait to see Teresa 3.0
I am glad you are back. We need to talk about stuff related to the fall festival at the farm and how we can help you.
Welcome back, Teresa! We’re looking forward to seeing more of your work. Besos, Karen and Marshall
Thanks for the sweet comments everyone. I can’t wait to see all of you
Since I am at least partially responsible for Teresa version 1.0, I have no doubt that 3.0 will be amazing ! Love you!
I love how you keep “upgrading”, I mean evolving to new versions
growing and learning more about yourself which is so cool 
[...] I crashed. I broke my leg and got some new titanium parts. I learned to limp and then to walk. I was surrounded with love. I got home, did a lot of rehab, took a deep breath and got back to work. [...]
[...] to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (and started over). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire [...]
[...] Ways Breaking Your Leg is Awesome The Re-Birth of My Friend Teresa Photography From Broken Bones to Rolling [...]
[...] to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (and started over). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire [...]
Hi Teresa! I’m one of the gazillion people who read (and commented on) your post about being too fat to photograph, and because I experienced my own life-changing accident, I was compelled to read the accident posts you hyperlinked. My accident was six year ago, and I still struggle, but I want you to know that nothing you felt or are feeling now is unusual. I don’t think people understand how much a major injury that robs a person of their independence can wreak so much havoc on the mind. In my case, in addition to injuries to my body, I had a head injury that literally changed my personality and robbed me of some of my intelligence…and considering how much I valued being the “smart girl” (since I was also the “fat girl”) it was a major adjustment to no longer be the smartest person in the room…to have to ask my 11 year old to explain something to me. Eek! It was awful. And it was humbling. I know that God saved my life, but I also know that He allowed my injuries. For a purpose. Does that mean I’m always happy about it? Not hardly. But I know my life is so much better AA (“after accident”) than it was before. I’ve actually come to a place where if I could go back and undo the accident, I wouldn’t. I would absolutely do it again, because what I’ve gained as a result of that 40-pound post is worth so much more than anything I lost. Okay, so I know you don’t know me, but you have my email…so if you ever need to be encouraged by someone who is a little further along in the healing process, or you just want to compare scars (I think you would probably win, lol!) please feel free to drop me a note. In the meantime, hang in there!!
I just found your posts & I wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. I was hit by a drunk driver on February 21, 2012. Most of my left side was crushed & I was in the hospital for 7 & 1/2 weeks. I am still unable to work or really care for my daughter 11 months later. Everything you are feeling is normal, or at least I hope it is! It’s amazing how situations can sneak up & overwhelm you in the blink of an eye. A few months after my incident (I refuse to call it an accident, sorry I am still a bit angry at him) I spoke with a friend that lost her singing voice (she was a professional opera singer) due to complications during knee surgery. One thing she said really stuck with me. She said that she was glad that she had physical scars to remind her that her emotional scars are real. I wish you luck with your recovery. I’m glad that you have this outlet to help you work through everything. As the previous person said. If you ever want to reach out more personally, I am here.
I too found your blog through your “too fat to be photographed” post. So glad I did! Your energy just oozes from these pages and pictures. Awesome! You accident story rings true. I was rear ended by a semi last week who was distracted and didn’t see me braking. Fortunately only the car was shot and we walked away. I didn’t have my little ones with me. Since I had spinal arthritis before the impact though, the inflammation and complications have been unfolding. Not sure what the final outcome will be and that’s sobering. I miss the carefree horseback riding pre-pain girl who didn’t count her vertebra with every bounce. What I wasn’t expecting was that little rush of adrenaline every time I pass a truck on the road now. If fear has ever been a regular companion in your life you don’t relish it’s return. But once you’ve done it, you do know how to reboot your life. Here’s to the release of version 3. New and improved and better than ever. : )
God LOVE you , Theresa!! Just now reading about your ‘journey’ that has brought you to “The Year of Theresa”. You write SO well…the reading of your words is like a great chat with a good old pal. Carry on!…Wishing you and your family ALL the best things…(and expect and hope for you to share more of your ‘journey’.)
[...] to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (and started over). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire [...]
I just wanted to thank you for helping this 56 year old, bipolar woman…. Identify with myself after Breast Cancer…. I lost a year of my life to it…. Funny how things can be… Same thing…. Only different….. I think you will get this…. As you are a remarkable young woman… Thanks for sharing… You are a blessing! … ‘Nuff Said <3
As for me. I don’t think your story is true for me. My triple chin, beach ball stomach, and no make up. Yes, I really don’t need a picture taken. When I look in mirror or someone did get a picture of me. I look like a deer caught in car lights. Pure ugly. Time is short. I agree. Not short enough for me 2 have someone take my picture.
Thanks
I have been going through something VERY similar to you here. Over a big chunk of last year I was drawn further and further away from my business to take care of my cancer ridden mother. As time passed and treatments got more intensive, I had to just about drop everything completely. Then in November, I did. I barely spoke with my own clients relying more for my husband and assistant to do this as I spent every waking moment I did with my mother as something no one could identify stuck her. Little did we know on her last hospitalization that it was indeed her last. After she passed, I spent a month of relying on people around me to keep me sane, alive, and very much active.
I had to have a break. I managed to attend my first ImagingUSA this year. And because of it I’ve come back to my office with a whole new drive. But I still find myself on certain days where I cannot seem to motivate enough to call it productive. I hope as the months move on I move away from the sad and lost part of myself to the one my mother encouraged. That strong, daring and uncanny artistic person. It’s scary, but I’m ready.
[...] to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (and started over). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire [...]